A Christmas Story About Christmas And A Wii
by reddwarfaddict
Summary: It's Christmas on the TARDIS, and the Doctor has an unexpected Christmas gift... Complete undivided crack!fic.


A Christmas Story About Christmas (And A Wii)

"Rose! Rose! Wake up, it's Christmas Day!"

Rose was dragged unwillingly from the depths of sleep unconsciousness by a very overexcited Doctor shaking her shoulder repeatedly.

"Rose! Rose!" he squealed, looming over her with bright, wide eyes, a huge grin on his face.

"Doctor..." she moaned, turning over and looking at the clock. "It's 5am..."

"Christmas Day! Christmas Day!" the Doctor squealed again, obviously completely oblivious. "Christmas Day!"

"Yeah, gimme a minute..." Rose murmured, summing up the willpower to sit up in bed, her hair absolutely everywhere.

"Come on!" the Doctor yelled as he ran out the door again, his job done. She groaned again and flopped back down, staring at the ceiling. Five more minutes wouldn't hurt...

* * *

><p>"Rose! Rose! Wake up! It's Christmas Day!" the Doctor yelled in her ear what felt like two seconds later and suddenly Rose found herself being catapulted around the bed and she yelped and opened her eyes to find the Doctor was now bouncing on the bed still in his pyjamas. "Come on!"<p>

"Okay, okay!" she squeaked, grabbing onto his leg to stop him jumping. "I'm getting up!"

"Yay!" the Doctor yelled, jumping off the bed again and rushing out the door.

Rose sighed. This was going to be a _long _day on the TARDIS.

* * *

><p>"How can you be so Scrooge?" the Doctor wondered, sitting opposite her at the kitchen table waiting impatiently for her to finish breakfast before they unwrapped the presents.<p>

"I'm 19, Doctor, Christmas kind of lost its appeal when I had to actually start buying presents with my own money."

"I'm 900 and something and I think it's exciting!" the Doctor insisted. "Unwrapping the presents to see what Santa brings..."

She looked at him, still very tired, and quite irritated. "Sorry, I hate to break it to you, but Santa doesn't exist."

"Are you sure about that?" the Doctor wondered with a raised eyebrow.

Rose stared at him some more. "... What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," the Doctor replied innocently, beaming away. "So, you done yet?"

"Err..."

"Let's go, then!" the Doctor yelled, yanking her out of her chair and pulling her towards the living room where the Christmas Tree had been sat for a couple of weeks, only now piled with presents and an exceptionally large one in the corner.

"Oh!" the Doctor beamed, looking at the big one's name-tag. "Thanks Rose, it's huge! I'll open it last!"

Rose frowned slightly, looking at the large present. "Umm, I didn't..."

He was already ripping into his first present, completely oblivious. "Oh, a new tie! Thanks, Rose!" he said, putting it around his neck instantly even though he was still in pyjamas.

She smiled at him and moved over to her stocking, taking it down and emptying it out onto the floor. It was absolutely filled with expensive chocolate.

Her jaw dropped, and the Doctor looking at her, pausing in ripping open his second present. "Enjoying Christmas yet?"

"Now I am," Rose replied, laughing. "Thank you."

He beamed even wider than before, pulling open his next present... "A Wii?" he realised.

"You don't have one!" Rose pointed out. "You've got every console except the Wii. And I got Band Hero to go with it and all the instruments so we can be in a band!"

"Oh!" the Doctor realised, looking at the plastic guitar in his hands. "That's amazing! I mean, wow, you humans are incredible. Playing in our own band on plastic instruments? That's so intuitive! No other species in the entire Universe has ever even thought of this! The human race! What will you think of next?" he boomed, genuinely impressed.

She just laughed, and went to her next present... It was a silver necklace, and a very expensive one by the looks of it. It was absolutely beautiful, a ruby set in silver with a silver chain.

Rose stared at it, agog. The Doctor looked at her again, already having got through all his small presents.

"It is okay?" he asked.

"It's... amazing," she breathed, wide-eyed. "Where did you get this?"

"Some jewellery shop. The woman there said it was pure silver real ruby or something. Didn't really understand. Glad you like it. Big present!" he yelled and got to his feet to run over to the huge box standing in the corner, ripping it open.

Rose was still staring at the necklace, so what happened next took a few moments to register in her brain...

"EXTERMINATE!" screeched the undeniable voice of a Dalek, then the sound of the weapon firing as the Doctor yelled...

"Doctor!" Rose gasped, whirling around to look... and finding the Doctor standing there next to a black Dalek, frowning slightly.

"SORRYYY," the Dalek said. "THEEERE WAS A FLYYY."

"Umm... thanks?" the Doctor wondered.

"AREEE YOOOU THE DOCTOOOR?" the Dalek asked, looking at the Time Lord still standing there absolutely discombobulated.

"Yes."

"I AM JASPEEEER," the Dalek said. "PLEASURRRE TO MEEEET YOOOU."

"Err... and you," the Doctor supposed, Rose now at his side. "Umm, sorry, but... What are you doing here?"

"I AM A DAAAALEK!"

"Yeah, we can see that," Rose muttered, a little afraid.

"CAAAN I FINISH, PLEEEASE?" Jasper wondered a little sarcastically, which was quite a feat in itself.

Rose blinked, going red. "Oh... Sorry. Carry on."

"THANK YOOOU," Jasper replied. "I AM A DAAAALEK, I WAS ASSIIIIGNED TO FIIIGHT IN THE TIME WAAAAR, BUT I WAS A COOOONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOOOR!"

Rose and the Doctor looked at each other, a little confused, but let the Dalek continue.

"I LEEEFT MY RACE AND HIIID ON A SMALL PLANEEEET, GETTING A JOOOOB AS A WAITEEEER! THEEEN I FOUND LOOOVE AND GOT MARRIEEEED AND WE MOVED TO HER HOOOME PLANEEET! BUUUT I COULD NOT PLEEEASE HER IN BEEEED AND WE DIVOOORCED. BUUUT THEEEN I MET A NIIICE MAAAAN CALLED XAAANTER AAAAND HE GAAAAVE ME A JOOOB MAAAKING THIIINGS IN HIS FACTORRRY! BUT I WAS SAAAD, FOR I WAS LONELYYY, AND NO ONE UNDERSTOOOOD MY PAAAIN. BUUUT XAAANTER SAAAID HE KNEEEW SOMEONE THAT MIIIGHT, PUT ME IN A BOOOX AND NOW I'M HERRRRE! HELLOOOO!"

The Doctor and Rose looked at each other again.

"AM IIII NOT WAAANTED?" Jasper asked sadly, his eye-stalk dropping to the ground.

"Hold on," the Doctor said quickly, holding up a hand. "Let us talk this over."

"OKAAAAY."

The Doctor and Rose turned away, conversing in whispers.

"That's one weird Dalek," Rose muttered.

"He's a conscientious objector... I mean, a Dalek that's a conscientious objector. That's weird all right," the Doctor replied, glancing back at Jasper.

"He seems harmless," Rose admitted.

"Yeah..." the Doctor agreed. "And could we really throw out someone on Christmas Day?"

Rose considered this, nodding. "Okay. I guess he's staying."

The Doctor nodded, then turned back to Jasper, beaming. "Would you like to stay with us for Christmas?"

"OOHHH WOULD III?" Jasper boomed, obviously ecstatic. "THANK YOOOOU! WILL YOU BE HAAAAVING TUUUURKEY?"

"Yep, and Brussels sprouts and roast potatoes and Christmas pudding..." Rose continued, smiling. "You can have whatever you want!"

"OHHH THAAANK YOOOU! I WIIISH I COULD CRYYYY WITH HAPPINEEEESS BUT I HAAAVE NO TEAR DUUUCTS!"

"You don't need to cry," the Doctor assured him, grinning. "Just one question..." He held up the Wii. "Can you sing, Jasper?"

* * *

><p>"IT'S FUUUUN TO STAAAY AT THE YYYY-M-C-AAAA! IT'S FUN TO STAAAY AT THE YYYY-M-C-AAAA!" Jasper sang down the microphone happily, the Doctor on drums and Rose on bass. "THEY HAVE EEEEVEEEERYYYTHING FOR YOU MEN TO ENJOOOY! YOOOU CAN HAAANG OUT WITH ALL THE BOOOYS!"<p>

"You're getting it!" the Doctor yelled with approval, grinning as he whacked on the drum set.

"THIS IS FUUUUN!" Jasper yelled in delight. "CAAAN WE DOOO WANNAABEEE BYYY THE SPICE GIIIRLS NEEEEXT?"

"Yeah!" the Doctor whooped as the song came to a spectacular finish.

"Hey, Jasper," Rose suddenly began in the loading screen as they all finished giggling. "What was the name of the man who sent you in the parcel again?"

"XAAANTEEER," Jasper replied.

Rose blinked, suddenly realising... "Xanter... Santa?" she gasped, looking at the Doctor.

He just grinned a very sly grin... Before Jasper started up in his own unique rendition of the Spice Girls with the Doctor and Rose supporting him, a happy little Christmas family indeed.

**The End**


End file.
